I cockslap morals
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
