Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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