Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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