I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
