Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
