Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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