There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
