I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
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I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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