Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
third nipple confirmed
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Randomize
