5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
It's like God shit irony all over that family
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
