I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
