Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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