he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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