I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
false alarm. still invincible.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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