super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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