the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I wish they made helmets for livers.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
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I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
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Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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