The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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