Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Pooping to opera.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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