tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
