I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize