So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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