I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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