I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
