I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
