i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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