similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
