Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
We're like a lot better than the average bears
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
