The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
