at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
