After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
