Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
