Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
