I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
