D3 body, D1 cock
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
