This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
