wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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