i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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