JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
