I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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