so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just got carded by a ten year old.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
