I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
