evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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