does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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