i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
