i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
