everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just pee around me
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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