You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
