One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
