I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i wish my penis had a tongue
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Randomize
