What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
there was a trapeze. enough said
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
