Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
