Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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