hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
