I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
