I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize