wakey wakey hands off snakey
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
