Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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