so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
