Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
