I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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