TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We had to coat check the pizza.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize