talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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