thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
