she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
